i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize