U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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