Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
