He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
