do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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