No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
