i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
