Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
