There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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