I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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