Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
