u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
