Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
