i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
