We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
