dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I cut my penus on the lid.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Less talking, more tequila
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
