Swine flu is the new snow day.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
