I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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