I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Operation Purity has been aborted
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
