ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize