You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize