I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
