I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
now i know why i became what i already was.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
