also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
should my penis look like a turkey
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
