I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize