The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
