She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
