I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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