we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I supernannyed him into submission
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