Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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