Little spoons don't ask big questions
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
