Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its about making memories worth repressing
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
