We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
