Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
