help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
