doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Non-Jews are for practice
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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