..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
