i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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