Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
