Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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