What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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