On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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