I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
