I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
