People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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