maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize