"it" just moved
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
