I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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