not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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