so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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