Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
