Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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