would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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