I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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