New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize