i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm too high and old for this...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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