I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
