Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
