Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
