It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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