'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
