But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
