She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
