Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
