lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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