HIV tests are more positive than that guy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
