he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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