the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
