Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
