Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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