At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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