is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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