Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize