Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
