yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
